Nationwide — The ability to detect when someone is lying is a skill that fascinates us all, and sadly people lie more often then they tell the truth. James Patterson, author of The Day America Told the Truth once interviewed more than 2,000 Americans and found that 91% regularly lied at work and at home. What seems to interest people most is finding out if their partners are being faithful to them or cheating behind their backs!
#1 – When possible and practical, try to avoid alerting the person that you suspect them of lying. Innocent people become defensive when accused of lying and will exhibit stress signs through their nonverbal and vocal cues, which can be mistaken for lie cues.
#2 – Try to get your suspect to relax at the outset. Avoid going straight to the deception issue and try to encourage them to lower their guard.
#3 – Establish rapport. Establishing rapport or sympathy will cause your suspect to relax and trust you. Salespeople and other influence professionals understand the importance of establishing rapport and frequently use it in their communication. In short, you establish rapport by subtly matching the other person’s body language, pace, pitch and tone of voice. Talk to them about something they are interested in and that you know something about.
#4 – Look for the head nod. Shockinly, sometimes the suspect will nod or shake their head in a manner inconsistent with the answer they have given i.e. when asked whether they stole the handbag the suspect says `no’ but shakes his head up and down in an affirmative manner. As remarkable as this may seem, it is not uncommon for people to give a physical indication that is the complete opposite to their verbal answer.
#5 – Look for the nose touch. Hirsch and Wolfe analyzed Bill Clinton’s testimony to the Grand Jury over the Monica Lewinsky affair back in 1998. They observed that when he was believed to be lying, he touched his nose once every 4 minutes reaching a total of 26 times. However, during the straight forward parts of his evidence, he rarely touched his nose.
For more simple tips on how to know if someone is lying or stretching the truth, download the ebook “I Know You’re Lying! How to Be A Human Lie Detector” (exclusively available at www.urbanebooks.com for just $1.99).
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